I have been hacking away at an update for like a week, and honestly, I've got nothing. Part of it is that my mom said that if you don't have anything nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all (actually, my mom never said that, but I've heard that it's the kind of things moms say), and this cycle has been a complete and utter bitch. Another part of it is that they gave me a Neulasta shot which made my bones hurt which made me need vicodin which makes me way more interested in drooling than writing. But, at any rate, I'm still around. I'm tired and run down and nauseous and my bones hurt, but otherwise, I'm still the same snarky, irreverant cancer patient as always.
I did, however, want to discuss PICC lines a little bit. If anyone ever suggests that you get a PICC line (like a port, but for your arm), punch them in the face. Twice. Because they will shove a plastic tube up your arm veins while you are completely awake, and that's not okay. I felt violated and had to call a Take Back Our Veins hotline afterwards. It's pretty amazing that I didn't become a militant lesbian after the experience. (That being said, I do have perfect militant lesbian hair, right now, and I'm kind of sad it's being wasted on me.)
Also, I only have one more chemo left. FUCK! YEAH! (Sorry, Grandpa) I went through this period where I was sad that chemo was ending. It's like I felt like I hadn't been appreciating my chemo experience enough or being "present" through it. Then I realize that's what normal people call coping, and stopping to smell the chemo roses is what crazy people do. And while I'm crazy, it's only like a fox. So, now I'm super excited to be almost done with chemo. Go me!!
And finally, although my head hair seems to be coming in nicely, I have almost completely lost my eyelashes and brows. While I'm "whatever" about the lashes, I'm a little sad about my eyebrows. How will people be able to intuit subtle changes in my emotions if I don't have eyebrows? I tried to draw them on this morning, and it was so lulzy, I indulged in a nice round of self-mocking. So, if you're having trouble telling what emotion I'm trying to convey (hint: it's probably either irritation or snark), I'll understand.